on beauty, on vanity

I found some gray hairs :)

By Marshall in New Orleans

I am haunted by what Debra said to me outside of Flowers Hall one afternoon, as if it were nothing. “You’ll feel really beautiful until you’re—” and then the memory stops because my brain has never been able to hold onto numbers. Fuck, I created a horrible mystery for myself. Until I’m what? Forty? Fifty? It makes a big differe…